The World’s Greatest Striker is Available for Transfer

It is unusual to have the world’s greatest striker openly available for transfer, but that will be the situation this summer. No, I’m not talking about the extraordinary Cristiano Ronaldo rumours to City, or Carlos Tevez whining his way to Spain; but the news that Nicklas Bendtner’s Dad said he might be about to do one. Now I realize my facetiousness perhaps mislead you with that tempting article title, but young Nicklas has gained a certain amount of notoriety for his bullish confidence in his abilities. As such, I feel it only fair to describe him as he would like to be described, upon the news of his imminent availability.

That Difficult First Phone Call to Fernando Torres (Since He Left)

Hello, Fernando? Yeah, it’s me. How are you? I’m fine. Hey, look I just wanted to get in touch, because I know that the last time we saw it each other it was, er, well, a bit awkward. Right? So, I just wanted to kind of clear the air; maybe get some things off my chest? Well, actually I think it would help us both. My therapist thinks it will help me, at least.