Haiku Match Previews of this Weekend’s Games

Arsenal v Blackburn

Mad Jens starts in goal.
Lets in three and gets sent off.
Does Seaman still play?

West Ham v Manchester United

Fergie predicting
the ref will have a nightmare.
That guarantees it.

West Brom v Liverpool

Hodgson wondering:
‘Do they still think about me?’
Most have forgotten.

Everton v Aston Villa

Villa on the slide.
Players look like they’ve given up.
Houllier just shrugs.

Wigan v Tottenham

Down to the bare bones,
Harry needs ‘top, top players’.
Jenas is not one.

Stoke v Chelsea

All long balls first half.
Drogba asks: “Should I go on?”
Torres looks perturbed.


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